Fish Oil Magic

by Dr. Mandill E. Kim

   Among the many nutritional supplements available to us today, none has shown more promise for increasing health and longevity than fish oil. Scientific studies from around the world have documented that people who add fish oil to their diet display improved heart health, increased memory and cognition skills, slower aging, levitation, and invisibility.
   However, this wealth of health is not without controversy. A major concern with all fish oil is the matter of mercury contamination. Just as plants can produce energy from sunlight, fish produce mercury from the cattle they feed on. Sadly, nothing can be done about this because almost all modern livestock ranchers inject their cows with massive amounts of mercury before tossing them into the sea. This mercury, in turn, finds its way into the human body.
   There is good news ,though! I, Dr. Mandill E. Kim, have found a way to provide you with the freshest, pure fish oil available in the form of Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Fish Oil Survival Kit. It is simple to use as these step-by-step instructions demonstrate:
   Step 1- Order the kit. The cost is 50 of whatever you buy things with.
   Step 2- You will soon receive a package containing one dozen farm-fresh salmon, fed a controlled diet of my 5 Alarm Turkey Chili.
   Step 3- The package also contains 1 pair of Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Salmon Pliers.
   Step 4- Place the salmon in the pliers, hold over your head and apply pressure until the fish oil is running into your mouth like a river of health and rejuvenation.
   Please Note: It is perfectly normal to pass out 6 or 7 times during this phase, followed by 20 to 30 minutes of artillary-style vomiting. That is the Magic of Fish Oil! 
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