by Dr. Mandill E. Kim
A vital component of our overall well-being is the state of our mental health. Stress is the destructive force that daily eats away our serenity. Unless we take positive measures to control this threat to our peace of mind, our everyday quality of life is at risk.
Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Stress Relief Strategies
Meditation: Although meditation has been around for thousands of years, it is often misunderstood. When done properly, almost anything can be an act of meditation. Meditation can be watching a sunset. Meditation can be listening to a song. Meditation can be hiding in the trunk of a stranger's car while eating your own hair off of a paper plate.
The benefits to human health from meditation are limitless. Just a few years ago I, Dr. Mandill E. Kim, using only the power of my meditating mind, lifted a tumor off my thyroid gland and placed it on the forehead of the woman who sells me crappy lottery tickets. No more stress! I suggest you begin this rejuvenating practice today.
Diet: How and what we eat can play an important role in our ability to deal with stress. All food is divided into 4 basic categories: Happy, Sleepy, Scaredy, and Fighty. Many of my patients have found that eliminating foods from the Scaredy Group, such as skim milk and cocoons, drastically reduces their stress levels.
Run and Hide: Sometimes we find that the weight of our current lives is simply too much to endure. Many years ago I, Dr. Mandill E. Kim, was unjustly accused of credit card fraud. To escape the stress of that situation, I fled to North Korea where I lived for several years as a morning radio personality known as Bean Goo Hat.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Testosterone: The Lowdown
by Dr. Mandill E. Kim
The most important hormone in a man's body is called testosterone. For millions of years, this substance was readily available as it could be made from simple materials such as clay or pandas. Then, at the beginning of the twentieth century, at-home testosterone production was outlawed and men had to acquire their hormones from enterprising hillfolk who distributed their home-brewed product in supercharged cars that could evade the local sheriffs.
This brings us to a critical issue. From the time a guy reaches the age of 25, testosterone begins to leak out of his body, leaving behind unsightly "man puddles" when gets up from a chair or stands in one place for too long. The result is a condition referred to as "Low T". Common symptoms are weight gain, lethargy, hair loss, and finally the development of what we classify as "cartoon penis".
If this describes you, take heart! I now offer Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Bestosterone. A special blend of Chinese herbs, this supplement is 87% panda-free if you place your order on the first of the month.
Within 7 days of taking Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Bestosterone, you will witness remarkable changes taking place. Your testosterone levels will skyrocket! You will notice increased muscle mass in yourself and others! Your once-thinning hair will become a thick nest of angry snakes! When you enter a room, women you've never met will immediately give birth to as many sons as you desire! Real sons, not the kind who do cardio!
Order today, before you drip away another puddle of yourself!
The most important hormone in a man's body is called testosterone. For millions of years, this substance was readily available as it could be made from simple materials such as clay or pandas. Then, at the beginning of the twentieth century, at-home testosterone production was outlawed and men had to acquire their hormones from enterprising hillfolk who distributed their home-brewed product in supercharged cars that could evade the local sheriffs.
This brings us to a critical issue. From the time a guy reaches the age of 25, testosterone begins to leak out of his body, leaving behind unsightly "man puddles" when gets up from a chair or stands in one place for too long. The result is a condition referred to as "Low T". Common symptoms are weight gain, lethargy, hair loss, and finally the development of what we classify as "cartoon penis".
If this describes you, take heart! I now offer Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Bestosterone. A special blend of Chinese herbs, this supplement is 87% panda-free if you place your order on the first of the month.
Within 7 days of taking Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Bestosterone, you will witness remarkable changes taking place. Your testosterone levels will skyrocket! You will notice increased muscle mass in yourself and others! Your once-thinning hair will become a thick nest of angry snakes! When you enter a room, women you've never met will immediately give birth to as many sons as you desire! Real sons, not the kind who do cardio!
Order today, before you drip away another puddle of yourself!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Fish Oil Magic
by Dr. Mandill E. Kim
Among the many nutritional supplements available to us today, none has shown more promise for increasing health and longevity than fish oil. Scientific studies from around the world have documented that people who add fish oil to their diet display improved heart health, increased memory and cognition skills, slower aging, levitation, and invisibility.
However, this wealth of health is not without controversy. A major concern with all fish oil is the matter of mercury contamination. Just as plants can produce energy from sunlight, fish produce mercury from the cattle they feed on. Sadly, nothing can be done about this because almost all modern livestock ranchers inject their cows with massive amounts of mercury before tossing them into the sea. This mercury, in turn, finds its way into the human body.
There is good news ,though! I, Dr. Mandill E. Kim, have found a way to provide you with the freshest, pure fish oil available in the form of Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Fish Oil Survival Kit. It is simple to use as these step-by-step instructions demonstrate:
Step 1- Order the kit. The cost is 50 of whatever you buy things with.
Step 2- You will soon receive a package containing one dozen farm-fresh salmon, fed a controlled diet of my 5 Alarm Turkey Chili.
Step 3- The package also contains 1 pair of Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Salmon Pliers.
Step 4- Place the salmon in the pliers, hold over your head and apply pressure until the fish oil is running into your mouth like a river of health and rejuvenation.
Please Note: It is perfectly normal to pass out 6 or 7 times during this phase, followed by 20 to 30 minutes of artillary-style vomiting. That is the Magic of Fish Oil!
Order Today
Among the many nutritional supplements available to us today, none has shown more promise for increasing health and longevity than fish oil. Scientific studies from around the world have documented that people who add fish oil to their diet display improved heart health, increased memory and cognition skills, slower aging, levitation, and invisibility.
However, this wealth of health is not without controversy. A major concern with all fish oil is the matter of mercury contamination. Just as plants can produce energy from sunlight, fish produce mercury from the cattle they feed on. Sadly, nothing can be done about this because almost all modern livestock ranchers inject their cows with massive amounts of mercury before tossing them into the sea. This mercury, in turn, finds its way into the human body.
There is good news ,though! I, Dr. Mandill E. Kim, have found a way to provide you with the freshest, pure fish oil available in the form of Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Fish Oil Survival Kit. It is simple to use as these step-by-step instructions demonstrate:
Step 1- Order the kit. The cost is 50 of whatever you buy things with.
Step 2- You will soon receive a package containing one dozen farm-fresh salmon, fed a controlled diet of my 5 Alarm Turkey Chili.
Step 3- The package also contains 1 pair of Dr. Mandill E. Kim's Salmon Pliers.
Step 4- Place the salmon in the pliers, hold over your head and apply pressure until the fish oil is running into your mouth like a river of health and rejuvenation.
Please Note: It is perfectly normal to pass out 6 or 7 times during this phase, followed by 20 to 30 minutes of artillary-style vomiting. That is the Magic of Fish Oil!
Order Today
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